I have a grip on reality--just not this particular one.
Some mornings it's just not worth gnawing through the straps
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
Fun is taking you to the edge of insanity, then pushing.
«Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.»- Mariah Carey, pop singer
From our brilliant leader, George Bush Jr.-
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
"I want to thank the astronauts who are with us, the courageous spacial entrepreneurs who set such a wonderful example for the young of our country." —Washington, D.C. Jan. 14, 2004
“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.”—George W. Bush, interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
“That’s George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three — three or four books about him last year. Isn’t that interesting?”
"I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a 'deserter.' What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants." —Filmmaker Michael Moore
Wisdom from the mouth of Homer Simpson-
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use
I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming
Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
Homer no function beer well without.
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
Choking to death on useless laws
10 hours ago