This site is a testament to not only my life but to the insanity of society. Dive into Psycho Carnival and you'll find tragicomic personal stories, wild yet honest rants, a little depravity, videos and a buttload of other goodies.

This site also contains adult like humor and ideas that could make you think. Consider yourself warned!

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Media Provides New Mass Hysteria

You can always count on the tv news, Internet and newspapers to work their usual redundancy on one or two topics, for however long, until they catch on that the viewers/readers are getting bored with it and then they move on to the next thing to hype. Hell, if they're not trying to scare us with the possibility of a hacker attacking our power grids, it's a flu epidemic or the latest tiny tidbit about the recession.

The World Health Organization (WHO) has come out with the news that they're going to change the name of swine flu to something else. It seems folks around the world are panicking from all the media hype and killing off all the pigs for fear of getting the flu. Dumbasses. The brand new name for it is influenza A(H1N1). Thanks, I feel much better now.

Who knows? Maybe this swine flu really will turn out to be fatal for the masses. But until then, when I see some real numbers, I refuse to give a shit. Don't give me this 6 dead here or 1 with the sniffles there. More people than that are dying with AIDS every day.

Hey, wait a minute, we haven't had a terrorist scare in awhile. Isn't it about time for one of those? Do they still have the "color wheel" notifications? Was there ever a teal alert? I really like that color. There was a time, in the past, when I would get caught up in the media frenzy over the "big deal of the day". I'll admit it. But after the media monster has "cried wolf" far too many times over the years, you get tired of it and wise up. At least, I have.

The reasons they hype it up could be any of the following:

A) To get big ratings/make money
B) To offer a distraction from the real news that certain political and powerful organizations would have reason for the public not to see
C) Just because there is no other news so they have to hype something in order for consumers to watch and buy what the advertisers are hyping in their commercials/printed ads/propaganda.

In summary, my recommendation is to not freak out. Calm down. More importantly, when you see any news that you believe may be hyped for any of the reasons listed above, give it the finger and pride yourself on being smart enough to know better.

Family Guy 420

This episode is full of laughs and truth about marijuana. I especially enjoyed the musical Brian and Stewie put on for the townspeople and also what Brian said, concerning why the plant was made illegal in the 1930's. Even for the few who don't care for "Family Guy", I advise you to watch this one. It's hilarious!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Tinker Bell The Dog Goes Airborne

In Waterford Township, Michigan-

A few days ago, a dog named Tinker Bell was reunited with her owners after a 70-mph gust of wind picked up the six-pound Chihuahua and tossed her out of sight. Witnesses last saw the dog, airborne, heading over Dixie highway.

What a sight that must have been for onlookers. I wonder if the little scamp shouted, "Weeeeeeeeee" as it was tossed around by wind gusts, much like a hairy little kite.

Dorothy and Lavern Utley give credit to a pet psychic for guiding them on Monday to a wooded area, nearly a mile from where 8-month-old Tinker Bell had been last seen. The brown long-haired dog was dirty and hungry but otherwise OK.

A pet psychic? Uh, okay. These folks must REALLY love their pets. If Tinker Bell was hungry, they should have taken it to Taco Bell. Everyone knows Chihuahuas love Taco Bell.

The couple had set up a display Saturday at a flea market in Waterford Township, 25 miles northwest of Detroit. Tinker Bell was standing on their platform trailer when she was swept away.

Dorothy Utley told reporters that her cherished pet "just went wild" upon seeing her.

Oh, great. There's nothing better than being overwhelmed by a yipping, tiny dog that's jumping all around, stinking of God knows what. I say, toss it back in the wind.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Martha Stewart Shows Us The Art Of Queefing

The South Park episode, "Eat, Pray, Queef" aired earlier this month. I missed it that time but I caught this weekend. Description of that episode from Wikipedia: "Eat, Pray, Queef" is the fourth episode of the 13th season of the television series South Park. . In the episode, the men of South Park become infuriated when the fart-joke oriented Terrance and Phillip show is preempted by the Queef Sisters, a show focused on queef jokes. The women of South Park accuse the men of holding a double standard when it comes to women queefing and men farting. The episode has a pro-feminist theme and ultimately suggests men and women should be treated as equals.

It's one of the funniest and outrageous episodes of South Park I've see in awhile. Check this out!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

14 Things That Never Fail To Annoy

1- People that drive too goddamn slow. Pull over if you see a goddamn train of cars behind your annoying ass, goddamn it! If possible, go ahead and drive over a steep drop off over the side of the road. Don't worry- I won't mind.

2- Authority figures that frequently abuse their "authority" such as government officials, cops, supervisors and wives. On second thought, I should probably delete that last example. My wife might see that and chop something off (that I may need in the future) in my sleep.

Then I would be sad.

3- Chairs that wobble.

4- Parents that refuse to take their crying babies out of the theater, restaurant, store or strip club.

5- Tomatoes. WTF is all that crap inside of them? Looks like part of a monkey colon.

6- Fast food drive thru(s). No matter how loudly or how many times I slowly tell the doofus my order, they still manage to screw it up.

7- Women who wear shoes that go clompity-clomp-clomp like a horse. Get the fuck away from me! And while you're at it, pull the top half of your expensive, name brand office suit up over your pasty-with-make up face so I can't see your glasses that have those oh-so-trendy little lenses that every office geek in the world seems to be wearing. And if you get too close behind me at the grocery store or wherever, I promise to bend over and let loose my "special cloud of goodness" directly toward your pompous facade.

And please-

Feel free to suck it in! No charge!

8- Computer errors or repeated crashes that take anywhere from a minute to infinity to figure out how to find and/or repair. How many times have I punched a hole in the wall instead of my monitor? Let's put it this way; a fairly decent outside breeze can topple my wobbly desk chair over in a New York second. That means.... it wouldn't take long, just in case you're retarded, my cross-eyed, befuddled friend.

9- Pajama-bottomed, stinking of excrement, redneck Wal-Mart shoppers. Let me please borrow the shotgun from your rusty pick up truck so that I may gleefully blast you in the face. As a bonus, I might even throw in a laugh or two whilst I dance merrily. Cross your fingers!

10- Those of you who place money, material crap and power above everything else in life. Because of these imbeciles who can't think or feel anything beyond their Almighty Dollar or Egos, the animals and the few good people inhabiting this world slowly die for their greed either by poverty, pollution and/or other means. If you fall into this group of wealthy assholes, don't forget to stop by my place for a complete and bloody beating.

11- Weak and/or decaffeinated coffee. Why don't you just piss in a cup?

12- Reality tv. There's not a bit of reality to be found in this cheaply produced sack of televised shitola. Just the inane mutterings and actions of dorks needing attention. Kill them all!

13- Vegans that lecture to carnivores like me. You are the first I'm going to eat when the food runs out.

14- Nosey people. A peek over my shoulder earns a fork stab in the eye.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Thoughts And Theories On Propaganda

"History and simple observation of people around you show how easily the majority can be swayed. Put the right kind of carrot in front of them or the right kind of scare behind them and they will jump in the direction that you wish them to go." -Kelly

"No enlightened person wishes to be duped by his desires, his fantasies, his glands." Gordon W. Allport

"All coercive techniques involve, on one level or another, frightening, or threatening, or intimidating a person, so that they move into survival mode." Douglas Rushkoff

"If we understand the mechanisms and motives of the group mind, it is now possible to control and regiment the masses according to our will without their knowing it." Edward L. Bernays

"Every time you watch someone else doing something (or even starting to do something), the corresponding mirror neuron might fire in your brain..." Arleen Raymond

"I think the subject which will be of most importance politically is mass psychology....Although this science will be diligently studied, it will be rigidly confined to the governing class. The populace will not be allowed to know how its convictions were generated." Bertrand Russell

"It would not be impossible to prove with sufficient repetition and psychological understanding of the people concerned that a square is in fact a circle. They are mere words and words can be molded until they clothe ideas in disguise." - Joseph Goebbels

"We shall assume that what each man does is based not on direct and certain knowledge, but on pictures made by himself or given to him...But what is propaganda, if not the effort to alter the picture to which men respond, to substitute one social pattern for another?" - Walter Lippmann

"The notion of rational man, capable of thinking and living according to reason, of controlling his passions and living according to scientific patterns, of choosing freely between good and evil--all this seems opposed to the secret influences, the mobilizations of myths, the swift appeals to the irrational, so characteristic of propaganda." - Jacques Ellul

"There are no facts." - Michel Foucault

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you mad." - Aldous Huxley

Propaganda--context and definitions

"If you think about how you think, you will find your mind is made of memories, facts, and that sort of thing; you picked these up through continual reinforcement... Using a computer metaphor, your mind is hardware (the grey matter, providing you with senses, nerve endings, neurons) and software (combined from that odd core of your being that is doing the reflecting, and the material it is reflecting upon, kind of like a computer program and its data). That isn't the whole story, of course; there is an unidentified extra component, the 'wetware,' that gives you free will, volition, self-awareness. We know next to nothing about how this piece works; it appears to be an odd combination of chaotic and stochastic processes, transcending both. About the only thing we know for certain about the human mind is that we haven't even begun to utilize it to its full potential." Michael Wilson, from: "Mimetic Engineering PsyOps and Viruses for the Wetware"

Propaganda - "Systematic manipulation of public opinion, generally by the use of symbols such as flags, monuments, oratory, and publications. Modern propaganda is distinguished from other forms of communication in that it is consciously and deliberately used to influence group attitudes; all other functions are secondary. Thus, almost any attempt to sway public opinion, including lobbying, commercial advertising, and missionary work, can be broadly construed as propaganda." Columbia Encyclopedia

Propaganda - "The deliberate attempt to influence mass attitudes on controversial subjects by the use of symbols rather than force. 2. A systematic effort to persuade a body of people to support or adopt a particular product, opinion, attitude, or course of action. Propaganda and Persuasion Techniques A Guide to Identifying Manipulative Information by Virginia Stewart, M.Ed.

"Words are the new weapons, satellites the new artillery. . . . Caesar had his officers; Napoleon had his armies. I have my divisions: TV, news, magazines." -- Arch villain Elliot Carver to James Bond in Tomorrow Never Dies

"As generally understood, propaganda is opinion expressed for the purpose of influencing actions of individuals or groups... Propaganda thus differs fundamentally from scientific analysis. The propagandist tries to "put something across," good or bad. The scientist does not try to put anything across; he devotes his life to the discovery of new facts and principles. The propagandist seldom wants careful scrutiny and criticism; his object is to bring about a specific action. The scientist, on the other hand, is always prepared for and wants the most careful scrutiny and criticism of his facts and ideas. Science flourishes on criticism. Dangerous propaganda crumbles before it." Alfred McLung Lee & Elizabeth Bryant Lee, from: The Fine Art of Propaganda

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Ashton Kutcher Wins The Big Twitter Battle

Who gives a good shit? Read here for more useless "celebrity worship" news about this lame-o battle vs. CNN.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Katey Rides A Pot Bellied Pig

I went to my sister's place for Easter this Sunday. After eating dinner, coloring eggs and hunting for them, my neice is placed upon Ginger the pig for a jaunty ride. I tried to ride him but he didn't care for the extra 200 + something pounds on his back. Go figure.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Happy Goddamn Easter To All

How would ya like to clean up this bunny's shit? Goddamn!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Special Gifts For Friends and Family

The following high quality products are perfect for friends, family, loved ones and those with sensitive heart conditions. Please take the time to browse this fine assortment of items and feel free to make any comments or suggestions for future offerings. Take care and have a beautiful day, everyone.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Alice In Chains-Got Me Wrong

One of my favorite songs from Alice In Chains

Monday, April 6, 2009

Outback Surprise

So my wife and I decided to go to the Outback Steakhouse, tonight. It's the last night of her 10 day vacation and she wanted to go somewhere nice to eat before going back to her wage-slavery job. The Outback's menu basically consists of "meat" items. At the Outback, ya got yer choice of steaks, chicken, ribs and lamb. It's all good. The service is normally excellent, too. Your waitress or waiter is frequently bringing you refills and asking if you need anything. That always scores points with me.

Since I have such a damned narrow throat, it's damned hard for me to get food down my tiny gullet without turning blue in the face and passing out in my plate of sirloin. That's one of the reasons I place so much importance of a sit-down restaurant's ability to keep the drinks coming. And yeah, I chew on the same bite of food two hundred times before swallowing. I can't tell you how many times I've almost done a blue-in-the-face-head dive into my plate or vomited on the way to the restroom to the dismay of surrounding, bewildered patrons. I did puke up some orange chicken on my plate at a Chinese restaurant once. I almost felt guilty for causing some of the old ladies at the table next to us get up and leave.

Good times.

But getting back to the subject I was originally rambling on about.....

The portions tonight, at the Outback, were considerably smaller than usual. That was our first shock. My wife's meal size was especially disappointing. A tiny thing of chicken and a tiny thing of BBQ ribs looked like a kid's meal. I checked the menu to make sure it was truly an adult item. It was.

Still hungry, my wife ordered a slice of peanut butter pie. She said that was really yummy.... or something like that. All I could get out of her, when I asked how the pie was, was "Mmmm. Ummerrrum." I dared not try to fork a bite from her plate because of the fondness for my hand.

The second shock came when we looked at the bill. We expected the cost to be in the 40 to 42 dollar range. And it was. No problem. But unexpected was the tip guideline at the bottom, telling patrons what they should pay, as a tip. How outlandish! How rude! I know the "waiting staff" have families to support. I understand that. But we're not going to be told how much of our hard earned money to leave as a tip. According to them, we should have left them a $6.50 tip. Sorry. It's not happening. We left them with a reasonable tip that was half of the "required" amount. They could suck on that and be happy or else.
Related Posts with Thumbnails

  © Blogger template ProBlogger Template by 2008

Back to TOP